the two lovers
by romeoromeo
Summary: remus x self insert oc, angsty, the oc is a shapeshifter, smut in the later chapters when everything's been resolved
1. Chapter 1

a/n: i do not own harry potter, nor do i condone jkrowling's views. btw the oc is literally just me but like,, if i was really cool and how i wished i were!

o0o

It's the new moon tonight. I lock myself in the room I'm staying in and pace for the majority of the day. Around noon, someone knocks on the bedroom door.

"Lee?" I hear Remus call out.

"No." I say, wringing my hands together.

Remus tries the door but it's locked. He unlocks it with a spell and I rush to the door to push it closed but he's too quick.

"Lee, come on," he says, closing the door behind him. "What's wrong? You've been shut up here all day"

I groan, sitting down on my bed, and shrug, not wanting to talk.

"I'd ask if you were a werewolf, as this happens on the monthly but... Well, it's not the full moon." He says, and I nod, scared that he's close to the truth. I'm not human. "Is it... your period?" he asks, aware that I'm trans.

"No, i've got potions for that stuff."

"Yeah but... the mood swings can't be stopped," he reasons.

"It's... not that, trust me," I reassure him, and Remus nods.

"OK, so what is it?" he asks, genuinely concerned.

"I can't say, I just can't. Please stop." I plead.

Remus asks if there is _anything_, that he can do to help ease whatever is making me anxiously pace and shut myself up in my room. I shake my head. He leans down in front of me with care and tells me he'll do anything to improve my mood. I find myself leaning in towards him.

For a moment he just stares, then he closes the gap and we kiss, holding it for a few seconds before he I break it.

"I... Shouldn't." I say, scared of what he'll do if we grow close and he finds out my secret. He looks crestfallen.

"I- Of course... I'm... Yes, you shouldn't."

"That's not what I-"

"I understand, forget it." he says, moodily, and he gets up and heads downstairs.

The new moon that night kills. It's full of guilt and lies and dishonesty. I howl silently and scream in agony as my body contorts into a million different shapes and sizes.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus was visibly anxious, pacing by the fire and wringing his hands in agitation. Molly offers him a mug of tea, and he snatches it quickly, mumbling a thank you. The moon was back in its cycle towards the full moon; he's in a foul mood. He seems to think that whatever he does he's wasting his time, and that he should be being productive while the moon isn't full. His face seems permanently contorted into worry.

It was only when he curled up to me on the sofa late that night that he seemed half content.

I didn't mean for it to happen! Trying not to be awkward after last night, I was talking about the stars, a topic I'm passionate about, and didn't notice he had fallen asleep until his head slumped onto my shoulder. I'm appalling at eye contact so I hadn't been looking at him.

Touch starved and tired, I didn't really mind at all, so I lent my head against his. The only other person in the room was Sirius, who smiled at me when he looked up from his book.

"Comfy, Lee?" he asks, and I nod shyly.

After Sirius heads up to bed I wake Remus up, gently shaking him. He looks surprised and growls slightly at being awoken.

"Hey, I think you should probably head to bed," I advise him, absentmindedly stroking his hair. He doesn't complain.

We're very close. He starts to lean in, and we kiss gently. He pulls away.

"Lee, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm a werewolf, I can't, I'll ruin your reputation." He explains, and I feel like crying. I should just TELL him that it doesn't matter, that I'm a shapeshifter. But I can't.

I twist his tie round in my hand and pull him in for another, more passionate kiss. His lips move against mine, he clearly enjoys and wants to be kissing me, but he pulls away again.

"Remus, please, I..."

Remus shakes his head, and I feel myself tearing up. I'm in an impossible situation: do i tell him? I put my head in my hands and feel tears welling up in my eyes.

o0o

As a shapeshifter, stigma is high in wizarding society. Higher than that that werewolves experience, and that's saying something ! We're labelled as animals who steal human form, rather than as humans who can take animal form, like animagus but more fluid.

My struggles with the new moon are forgotten and pushed aside. I tell no one. I lock myself in my room and silence myself and scream in agony as the moon is new.

Dumbledore knows, and even he struggles to respect me, often comparing my behaviours to that of an animal's. He frequently brings up how he needs a proud shapeshifter who can go on missions. I ignore him and wish I'd never let him find out.

o0o

The next day Remus looks exhausted, as though he's been up all night crying.

There's a pause when we look at each other. He looks away.


	3. Chapter 3

Dumbledore had gotten a proud shapeshift to join The Order temporarily. She, Clara, sniffed me out immediately and gave me an odd look, as if saying 'what are you doing here?'. I recognised her, from the papers. She recognised me from the past.

o0o

It was when I was a child, she had sniffed me out. Knowing how parents often abandon their children if they have the mutated genes of a shapeshifter, she stole me before I started showing signs of shapeshifting. She was 20 at the time, young for a shifter, we often live to our 120s, aging less quickly. I myself now am 60 but I look about 30.

Moving on, she homeschooled me in wizardry before Dumbledore found out and took me into Hogwarts when I was about 20. He found out due to him surprise visiting her to thank her for her work in helping "half breeds" fight for their rights.

I ran away at 30 due to the internal hatred I felt for my kind. I left with a note saying I was killing myself.

I survived, but was too ashamed to show my face back at home again.

o0o

About 10 minutes later I'm pushing her into my room and hissing at her to keep my secret, to not tell. Clara snorts.

"Why should I do that? So you can hide from the reality our kind struggle through?"

"I... Sure, if that's how you want to put it: YEAH. I don't want to have to face those struggles. I'll never be employed again." I confess, angrily.

"That is _so_ selfish! You should be out there campaigning for our rights like the rest of us, not hiding away."

I snarl, baring wolffish teeth. I want to go for clara's neck, but she lowers her chin and grows a thick mane.

We stand and glare at each other.

Eventually she leaves, scoffing. I sit down on my bed and cry.


	4. Chapter 4

It's three weeks later. Clara's leaving as her mission is over. She glares at me from the door. Everyone can feel the tension in the room.

"I want to battle you. No wands." she declares. I feel my stomach drop. There's no way i could battle her and keep my secret.

"Now?" I ask, scared.

"Yeah, sure. Everyone make a circle."

Dumbledore was here to see her off and he stands against the door. When people protest, he waves them off, and tells them to make the circle. Remus in particular seems confused and angry at this development.

Clara snarls and let's herself grow large claws and thick, sharp teeth. She glowers at me, towering over me as her hind legs grow. She hunches over like a werewolf and grins at Remus, who looks genuinely scared of her.

I feel like it's time. My secret will be outed or i'll die.

I tear up a little bit.

"Show your dirty secret lee, come on, you disgusting animal." Clara snarls in a low voice. There is visible confusion among my friends.

But I refuse to, side stepping her lunge. I allow my internal structures to change so i don't get out of breath, my lungs' capacity growing. She notices i'm faster on my feet and grins evilly, knowing I'm one step closer to revealing my secret.

She goes for my throat, swiping at my chest. I growl, pain rippling through my body and for a moment one of my legs switches to its true form, that of a bird's. There are gasps and murmurs as I cringe away from Clara. Remus looks like he finally understands everything that's transpired between us. She kicks me to the ground and I make no movements to defend myself.

Remus tries to push past the circle as she clambers on top of me and sinks her teeth into my neck.

"I win, you filthy scumbag of a shapeshifter"

She kicks me again and I curl into a defensive ball as she continues to kick me. Remus, Fred, and George eventually defy dumbledore and push her away from me. No one else seemed to make any movement to stop her, either too stunned to or no longer caring.

George helps me up and Fred threatens Clara with his wand.

"You won: back off!"

Clara grins, her lips dripping in my blood, and nods at Dumbledore, leaving.

Remus helps me upstairs, as I'm unsteady on my feet. He tells fred and george he's got this, and they say they're going to grab some potions to help me.

I sit on my bed, sobbing. Remus empathises and gives me a big, comforting hug.

He uses his sleeve to wipe away the blood gushing out of my neck. I'd already totally forgotten about it, adrenaline masking the pain. I grow some new skin, the wound disappearing, to become a scar seen only in my true form.

I take remus by the tie and kiss his deeply, and this time he has no reason to pull away. He knows there's nothing of my reputation left to be hurts, yet it's so good.

Fred and George stand in the doorway, wolf whistling as we make out.

I break the kiss first, to greet Fred and George.

"Hey you guys" I say breathlessly.

"Heyy, you two love birds, here's the potion, but it looks like you don't need it", They say, throwing a healing potion my way. I thank them anyway.

o0o

Next full moon i transformed into a big cat and slept next to the transformed Remus.

Next new moon, remus sits and strokes me, keeping me as comfy as he could while I screamed.


End file.
